Actual conversation between C. and I. This took place at the end of the evening a while back. We were showering and getting ready for bed. (Note: It’s hot here. You have to take at least 2 showers a day. Or else.)
Me: …Don’t you ever get tired of… taking care of yourself?
[insert significant silence]
Him: …Um, no.
Me: Oh. Yeah. Me neither.
I DO get tired of taking care of myself. I think I’m one bad night’s sleep away from throwing in the towel completely.
Here’s what I mean by that. Women require far more bathroom time than men and to be honest with you, sometimes I’m not up for it.
The shaving of legs.
The washing of long hair.
The conditioning of long hair.
The towel-drying of long hair.
The putting-of-Redkin-antisnap in long hair.
The putting on of eye cream to prevent wrinkles and ultimately keep my husband.
The putting on of face moisturizer.
The putting on of body lotion to prevent scaley-alligator skin.
This is exhuasting, if you ask me.
And, I haven’t even discussed the putting on of makeup. OR the blow-drying of the long hair. (Which I do MAYBE twice a month.)
This my friends, is why my feet are a wreck. I have no time for them and I’m terrified of pedicures. (Foot fungus, kids. You can’t tell me those tools are properly sanitized every time. I don’t buy it.)
It’s exhausting to be a woman.
Note: I’d say that on the maintenance spectrum, with 1 being total crunchy, no-makeup wearing and 10 being a pageant queen, I’m a solid 6. I don’t wear makeup on weekends but I love me some hooker eyelashes.
Am I alone? Do you EVER feel like this? Where do you stand on the maintenance spectrum?