*I know the next installment of the Produce Report about Baby Girl 2011 isn’t due until next Monday. But I felt like writing about her. And, since this is my blog and all…
I think I’m turning a corner…
Yesterday we had a doctor’s appointment. I’m 31 weeks and 2 days pregnant.
Craig, my Mom, Lila and I loaded up into the car to trek the 1 mile to my doctor’s office. I answered the regular questions… (I seriously am a ridiculously blessed pregnant woman. Aside from water retention, I have no complaints.) Then it was time for the every-visit ultrasound.
As soon as my doctor placed the ultrasound magic wand on my belly, it immediately showed a picture of my Baby Girl’s face.
I could see everything so clearly.
Her little nose. (Same as Lila’s I think!?)
Her full cheeks.
Her perfect eyes fluttering.
Her perfect lips.
Then, that hand… that hand draped over the side of her left eye, palm-up to the magic wand as if to say, “Oy vea. It’s not easy being a growing baby.”
The room went quiet.
Ok, maybe it didn’t. Lila was chitter-chattering. The doctor was explaining. I believe Craig and my Mom were saying something…
But my heart went quiet.
My heart was still.
I could see her.
I could see that there really is a baby in there. She’s grown up. She’s no longer an idea, a possibility, a future venture. She’s a baby. She’s my baby.
I think I’m ready.
Am I ready for her to be here tomorrow? Absolutely not.
Am I ready for her to be here within 7 weeks? Without a doubt.
I’m ready to snuggle her. I’m ready to smell her baby smell. I’m ready to gaze with utter wonderment at the little being that we created. I’m ready to rock and rock and rock… I’m ready to nurse again. I’m ready to be nervous and anxious again. I’m ready to experience the emotion that comes with holding my baby against my bare skin and staring into her eyes and introducing myself to her. I’m ready to thank God as I watch her little chest move up and down up and down as she breathes. I’m ready to look down at her, in the same way that I did her big sister, and say, “For better or worse baby, we belong to one another. I will do for you all that I can. I’m going to make mistakes, but you will never have anyone love you as much as I do.”
I think I’m ready.