**Ignore the odd-ball spacing in this post. I’m too pregnant to fix it.
My random thoughts:
- Ricky Gervais is funny.Robert Downey Jr. might be funnier.
- My crushes on Johnny Depp and [Marky} Mark Wahlberg continue. Going strong.
- Does every man in Hollywood top out at 5′ 6″? They’re all pocket-sized, no?
- Am I the only person who didn’t know that Christian Bale had a British accent? (I had no idea.) I do know that Hugh Laurie (House) has one.
- I cried when Chris Colfer (Kurt Hummel) from Glee won.
Let’s get down to business.
Scarlett Johanssen. Eh. I like the nude-color. I do. I just sort of think she looked like a curtain. A fancy curtain. But still, just a curtain. (Perhaps I should use the word, “drape”. That would make it seem more formal?) She looks like a fancy drape.
Sandy Bullock did the nude-thing, too. And I loved it. Her bangs were fun, too. Maybe a little thicker than what I prefer. But, as my husband said: “She looks good.”
I felt there were enough emerald-green dresses. They sort of bored me to tears.
Boring green dress #1 goes to: Mila Kunis. (Black Swan, That 70’s Show.) It’s reminiscent of a peacock and that is one untrustworthy bird.
Boring green dress #2 goes to: Elisabeth Moss. (Mad Men) That’s it. I got nothing else. Boring.
Boring green dress #3 goes to: Angeline Jolie. Did she nab this from Bea Arthur’s estate sale? (God rest Bea’s soul.) I hate this whole look – especially the fact that cannot be denied: her hair is feathered. NO. NO FEATHERED HAIR ALLOWED. (I saw it in an interview. Her bangs are feathered.)
The award for the best green dress goes to: Catherine Zeta Jones. Good for her. She’s wearing some crazy-heavy material and with her dark hair? …I’m going to go out on a limb and say that she’s striking.
Isn’t this an unfortunate picture of Tilda Swinton? Yikes. And I’ll tell you the truth, Sharon Stone did this years ago… but it just worked for Sharon. I don’t think this worked. She needed a bigger, fuller skirt and a crisper button-upshirt. And a non-pirate look on her face. (Is she wearing pink shoes? Cool.)
And the award for the best arms of the night goes to: Julie Bowen (Modern Family). Holy wow. And for the record? I like her dress. Great color. Great embelishments. Very nice.
Best black dress: Eva Longoria
Parker looks adorable. GREAT neckline. Great hair. Super-great fancy-schmancy embellishment/pin/jewel on her hip. Great open-back. Nice.
Best use of tangerine orange: Kyra Sedgwick. (I sort of always like what she wears.) Fun bracelets, too. (Is Kevin Bacon wearing skinny jeans?)
Next, let’s discuss Jennifer Lopez. First, let the record state that Mark Anthony continues to be simultaneously creepy and mouse-like. Secondly, it appears that Jenny from The Block (all caps are necessary, that’s a proper noun right?) has stolen inspiration for her dress from Sandy’s dress during the dance off in Grease. I hate it.
I always have a hard time saying anything negative about Helen Mirren. She’s sort of a class-act. However, I think the diamond tie necklace was just a bit too much.
The award for the most cake-like dress goes to this girl whose name I don’t know and don’t feel like looking up. There are tiers. It is white. She appears to look like a confection.
It’s no secret that I love Tina Fey. And, it’s no secret that she usually picks the wrong things to wear. (See last year, here.) She loves black, but look at her moving out of her comfort zone away from tea-length dresses. Love the navy. LOVE her hair. Well done, Liz. Well done.
Jane Lynch (Glee). Eh. Ok. Whatever. I think that particular neckline is somewhat juvenile. But, I was pumped to see that she won. Nice.
Best dress cut: Love this. Best dress? Nope. But still,I like it. Would I have chosen this color for January? More than likely not. However… this looks great on Claire Danes.
Speaking of pink. Eh. I’m not a fan of the overwhelmingly Grecian look. Especially the hot pink Grecian look. Especially the hot pink Grecian look with one over-sized puffy sleeve. Better luck next time, Julianne Moore.
Shall we talk about the pregnant ladies? Jane Krakowski looked adorable. Great color. Great earrings, too.
As a 9-month-pregnant woman, I feel I can put it out there that I didn’t love Natalie Portman‘s look. I felt the back (butt-area) was ridiculously unflattering; the draping was off. And, the necklace just wasn’t right. Neither was the hair. Re-think your stylist, beautiful girl.
It appears that two of the ladies from Mad Men decided to have duel-of-the-red-dress.
The winner for me is Christine Hendricks. The flower is big, but so is her up-top. So… all in all, I think it’s balanced.
January Jones looks like a breast smuggler. It’s sort of sci-fi ridiculous. You’re beautiful, we get it. You have good boobs. We get it. That is too much.
Speaking of Mad Men. I love this picture of Jon Hamm. (“Well, hellloooo there!”)
And the award for “WHAT?” goes to: Heidi Klum. WHAT are you wearing? WHAT were you thinking? WHAT is wrong with you?
The fruit award goes to: Nicole Kidman. She looks like a banana. And, her dress was a bridesmaid dress. A mermaid-y, banana-like dress.
Speaking of event-specific dresses, Carrie Underwood sort of had prom hair and sort of wore a prom dress. Boo.
Hmmm… What does one say about this one? It’s just too easy, Christina Aguilera, let me break it down for you: you did not win best dressed.
What is the deal with everyone’s love for Megan Fox? Whatev. I’ll tell you what, this is a terrible dress. Gross.
Halle Berry, you always look gorgeous. This dress confuses me, though. However, your hair is great and you’re boringly perfect.
Annette Benning is gorgeous. Thank you for wearing your glasses. I like them.
And, what you all have been waiting for. The best and the worst.
This could be the absolute worst dressed, but it’s too easy. Helena Bonham Carter never disappoints. The two different shoes? I totally did that in 7th grade. And they were converse high-top all-stars. Helena, you’re like decades behind. 🙂
The absolute worst-dressed dressed for me was easy. I hated this dress on Michelle Williams.
A.) This is not event-appropriate.
B.) It’s January. This dress has daisies on it. Is it linen?
C.) It’s baggy. And unflattering.
(Note: I like her hair. I would also wear the dress in the summer. I just don’t think it’s Golden Globe material.)
Finally, the best dress for me was Olivia Wilde‘s. I want to wear this dress. It’s chocolate brown. (Awesome.) And it appears to have been made with stars. Oh, how I love the sparkle.
That’s all for now. Your thoughts?