• Kirk Douglas was cute. Good for him. He’s a good time.
• I want to be Anne Hathaway‘s friend.
• James Franco was “eh” as a co-host.
• Oprah Winfrey looked great.
So, back to the dresses… lots of jewel tones. Lots of sparkle. Lots of glamor I believe the Toddlers and Tiaras set would say that the Oscars were “full glitz.” (Tee hee.)
We’re digging in.
The I-can’t-believe-you-just-had-children award goes to:
Celine Dion. Holy wow. She gave birth to TWINS just four months ago. Ugh and impressive at the same time.
Truth, though? I like the dress, I do. However, I hate that necklace. I mean, good for you that you got to keep the necklace from Titanic… but did you have to wear it tonight? It’s far too “old” for this modern dress, if you ask me.
…and Penelope Cruz had a BABY A MONTH AGO. WHAT??? Still, that dress? I hate it. HATE it. I don’t think you should ever have a design depicting fire on a dress near your lady parts. It’s just far too easy to make a joke. (I love Javier Bardem.)
My favorite Red Carpet Quote of the night:
That continuously ill-dressed Helena Bonaham Carter said that a costume designer created her outfit. Why? Because she said that she chose to “celebrate film and not fashion” tonight.
Good for her.
But her dress is still feo. (ugly).
(What’s with the fan? Come on. Really?)
The best usage of boob tape goes to:
Mila Kunis. Wow. So yeah, the dress was gorgeous. However, I think it looked better on the screen than in photos. It’s far too purple in the picture. I like it, I do. But that’s just too much up-top showing for me. It reminded me of when Janet Jackson wore that nipple-cover thing on that one Superbowl ages ago. When she walked there was just far too much jiggle.
(“Jiggle” is a gross word. Add that one to the list.)
The holy-wow award goes to:
I’m usually not a fan of red dresses on the red carpet, but Jennifer Lawrence knows how to work it. I love this dress. I love it. She looks phenomenal. Her hair looks great, too. Way to go.
(Wish I could see her shoes.)
The best use of a collar:
While I don’t love this gold/mirrored dress – I do like the collar. It’s fun. Way to go, Melissa Leo.
The creepiest photo award goes to:
Sharon Stone looks terrifying. I don’t like this dress. It looks like she’s got a weapon in her hair. Look out. She’s going to get you. BOO!
The “I wanted-to-like-it, but-I-don’t” award goes to:
Cate Blanchett. Ok, first off? She’s gorgeous. Secondly, I don’t like this. Ok, well I love that it’s different, but it’s far too matronly and boring. And it looks like it’s being worn backwards.
“I’ll go ahead and be clever and put a t-shirt UNDER my dress so I can wear my dress backwards. Cutting edge, no?”
Oh boy, Nicole Kidman and Gwyneth Paltrow… Oh boy.
First Nicole is wearing a terribly unflattering bridesmaid gown that has an unfortunate sash strategically placed in the worst position possible: on her hips. And that choker? And her hair? Boo.
And Gwyneth, your hair looks fantastic. Your dress, however, while allegedly supposed to be a classic Calvin Klein, it’s just “eh”.
I give you both no thumbs up.
Best picture of the evening:
Melania Trump is one lucky lady. The Donald (and his hair) are fantastic.
Now let’s move on to the red and orange dresses.
While I would like to be Anne Hathaway’s friend, I feel that her dress was too tight at her hip/waist. I was watching her talking to Tim Gunn and it appears that she was having difficulty breathing. Not my fave.
I adore the structure of Sandra Bullock‘s dress. Fantastic. She looks incredible.
Oh my. Jennifer Hudson looked incredible. She worked that orange dress. She looks fantastic. (And happy.) However, I only loved her look from the chest down. (I’m not a big fan of under-boob showing.) WELL done, though.
This whole look on Ashlan Gorse is just contrived. Really? Grecian with a headband? Boring. And the dress is ill-fitting to boot. (This would be the perfect dress to wear those Grecian style crocheted “foot fancies” from my earlier blog post.)
And… then there was Scarlett Johansson. LOVE the back.
Hate the front. (And next time, do your hair.)
Question of the evening:
Why did Jeff Bridges get to bring his whole family, why are they all being photographed and why are they all wearing variants of the same dress? Weird.
Can someone explain to me why ESPN commentator, Erin Andrews, was at the Oscars? I don’t get it. (I’m not even commenting on that dress and earrings combo.)
And why do people continue to dress like these awards shows are beauty pageants in disguise?! Better luck next time, Nancy O’Dell. (I guess I didn’t realize Nancy O’Dell was an actress.)
Mandy Moore looked stunning. How elegant and just lovely.
Eh, ok. Florence Welch needs to add just a titch of color to her wardrobe. Or maybe just wear something different? I loved her at the Grammy’s. I’m bored with her at the Oscars. That color is TERRIBLE.
That little Hailee Seinfeld is dressed just as a 14-year-old girl should be. Perfect. Cutie pie.
Tell me that Reese Witherspoon doesn’t look a little like Carrie Underwood here? Perhaps it’s her big country hair? I’m just saying… As far as her dress goes, though? ELEGANT and PERFECT. And safe.
I love that Shaun Robinson wore this color. So pretty. Especially against her skin. That bow is larger than her head, though.
Ok, on to the best and the worst.
The worst dressed was Amy Adams. Hands down. No questions asked. That color is BORING. The sleeves were so not flattering. And WHAT was with that necklace? Please tell me it was sentimental – perhaps I could forgive her for wearing it… maybe. It was awful, though.
Her hair… that necklace… that ridiculous bracelet… her makeup… all bad.
Now, I’d like to report who I think was the “most beautiful” and the “best dressed.” The first one is no surprise… the second one sort of surprised me.
Oh Halle Berry… you are nauseatingly gorgeous. You look like perfection. Wow.
I have to tell you, though… I didn’t love the train. It’s even a bit to foo-foo for me.
The best-dressed for the night? (And this surprised me that I liked it so much…) Michelle Williams.
1. I adore her hair.
2. Her makeup is perfect.
3. The Chanel dress is amazing and perfect for her.
**The only thing that worries me, and I couldn’t see them well enough, were her shoes. I fear that they were white.
All in all – well done, Michelle Williams.
And that’s all, folks.