Just a snapshot from our weekend.
Picture it: Cicily, 1924. (Kidding, but I love Sophia Patrilo.)
So it’s Friday night…
Most people are getting ready to hit the town, maybe have a relaxing glass of wine. Eat a fine dinner, just relax… I’ll tell you what, that’s not how we roll in our house right now.
7:15 p.m. – Lila goes to bed. (Her normal bed time.) She normally sleeps until 7:00 a.m. – 8:30 a.m. the next morning. (Yes, we know we’re lucky. I had a mullet growing up so God felt bad and gave me a good sleeper.)
7:15 p.m. – Vivienne is swaddled, just had a bath and is put in bed, too.
9:15 p.m. – Lila wakes up SCREAMING bloody murder and sweating like crazy and with a 100-something-degree fever. / Vivienne hears Lila and wakes up crying.
Yep: simultaneous crying.
Craig and I tag team. He gets Lila. I get Vivienne.
Lila is allowed to stay up a while and cuddle and Vivienne gets shushhh’ed back to sleep.
9:40 p.m. – Lila gets put back into bed. She falls back asleep after a while.
11:00 p.m. – Vivienne gets a bottle from C. He feeds her, swaddles her, puts her back to bed. It takes a little while for her to enter dreamland. (Can’t blame her. She’s learning how to sleep.) While he’s feeding Vivi. I pump.
12:30 a.m. – We’re finally in bed for the night and… Lila wakes up SCREAMING AGAIN. Craig handles it. Stays with her a while. Puts her back to bed. I pretend like I can’t hear her and put my pillow over my head.
1:30 a.m. – We wake up because Ferg is shaking her ears SO LOUDLY and SO OFTEN and so WEIRDLY – nearly every 3 seconds – (something she’s never done before) and we’re concerned that something is one of them. Craig gets up to check. Sees nothing. Let’s her outside. She comes back into our bedroom and we try to go back to sleep.
1:45 a.m. – SHE IS STILL SHAKING HER EARS. “STOP FERG!!! OR WE ARE GOING TO HAVE TO KILL YOU.” Craig takes her into the kitchen, puts the baby gate up and leaves her in there. She’s not happy. (I’m still trying to pretend like I can’t hear everything…)
2:15 a.m – Vivienne wakes up SCREAMING. Somehow, she’s loosened herself from her baby burrito swaddle and her arms CANNOT handle the freedom.
I change her diaper, refuse to feed her because she’s not hungry and at night she’s been going nearly 6.5 hours without eating and I’m not going to change that now, re-swaddle her and she falls back to sleep in about a minute. I decide to sleep in the bed in Vivi’s room because I feel bad that C’s got to work tomorrow and up until this point our house has been the definition of restless. He’s handled Lila and Ferg so far, so I should take on the rest of the night.
2:45 a.m. – Ferg is now howling in the kitchen. Howling. As if she were a beagle. WHO IS THIS DOG? I get up, take down the baby gate and let her sleep in Vivi’s room with me. Ear shaking is at a minimum. (Thank God.)
3:45 a.m. – Lila is up again. This time she’s using her outside voice to simply have a conversation. With whom? I’m not sure. Perhaps one of the TEN stuffed animals in her crib. It’s incredible how loud this child is. I go in to check on her. Can’t find the thermometer to check her temp.
In the midst of my search she asks me to put her bike helmet on her as she talks LOUDLY to me from seated atop her changing table.
I stand there and laugh because this is insanity.
One toddler screaming.
One baby crying.
One dog howling.
Now the toddler is using hand gestures to explain something of importance to me, all the while wearing her bike helmet at 3:45 a.m. on top of her changing table.
I take her out to the couch. She gets something to drink (Jack Daniels) and watches an episode of Wonderpets.
She then needs a diaper changing
4:00 a.m. – Still in the family room with Lila TRYING to keep her quiet (next to impossible) and Vivi starts screaming. I bring Vivi out and feed her with Lila as all four of us (including Ferg) watch Wonderpets.
4:30 a.m. – Put Lila back to bed.
4:45 a.m. – Put Vivienne in bed with Ferg and I.
5:15 a.m. – Vivienne finally falls asleep.
8:00 a.m. – I wake up.
This is just a sample of the craziness that ensued for the entire weekend. We got to experience random screaming fits due to teething and… just when Lila would fall asleep: fireworks. There were THREE SETS OF FIREWORKS Saturday night. (The price you pay for living in a resort town, I guess.) With each blast, Lila screamed louder.
It was awesome.
It’s now Sunday afternoon and Lila is napping. She’s woken up just once during the nap.
Vivienne is napping in her swing.
Both of them started crying in stereo about 30 minutes ago. Craig got one, I got the other.
As we were walking out of their respective rooms, Craig said, “This weekend has sucked.”
It’s true, some weekends are better than others.
I know we’ll look back on these days and smile and laugh… but we will only do so because we will not remember with true clarity just how acutely exhausted we are at this very moment.
Now, where’s my 5-hour-energy drink?