I don’t drink coffee. I’ve always wanted to be cool enough to enjoy it, but I don’t.
I’m intimidated by ordering at Starbucks and can count on ONE hand how many times I’ve done so. My order usually is dictated to someone else and goes like this, “Um… I don’t know… I’ll have a green tea or something… just no coffee.” (I’m a tea person.)
See? I’m not cool.
But I will gladly admit that coffee beans smell divine.
Moving on to the point of this post:
I’ll tell you what I do like: good ‘ole fashioned coca-cola classic.
I like the taste. I prefer it from a can. (Classy.) It must be ice cold. And it must never be caffeine-free.
And nope, I don’t drink the unleaded alternative diet version. No diet coke or coca-light in Mexico. I like the real deal. If I’m going down, I want to go down drinking the REAL, nasty deal, not aspartame.
So this coke obsession? It rules me.
(If “ruling me” means I drink ONE full-can or ONE mini-can of coke per day. NEVER more than that. EVER.)
Here I am. Trying to lose baby weight. I’m college educated. I know and understand that coke is not good for me. I understand a healthy diet. I work out and drink LITERS of water each day. (Breastfeeding.)
I even try a different angle and attempt to convince myself that I’m letting the MAN win. I’m letting him poison my body… willingly. I’m marching into the FIRE of kidney damage.
None of this matters: I can’t quit the coke.
Ok, it’s not that I can’t.
Here’s the real deal. It’s what we learn on every addiction show, from Intervention to Hoarders: I don’t want to quit.
I like it.
I’m not willing to let go.
So the point of this post? Perhaps it’s a confession, or maybe I’m crying out for someone to say, “It’s ok!” or, “Me too!”
I’m not sure… but the bottom line? I shall continue to struggle. And feel guilty. And love coke.
Note: I haven’t always been like this. This is a recent thing for me. I’ve gone significant periods of time sans pop (soda). I just, well… I just like coke.
So, right now my current rule is that I can’t have a coke if I had one the day before. 🙂 So what does this mean?
No coke for me today.