I find it to be amazing how our children always just know when to deviate from their norm.
It usually seems to happen to me/us when we’re already hanging by the thinnest of threads.
Take for example the fact that I’ve had a cold for about 2 weeks now. I was able to keep it at bay until exactly Friday night. Then I collapsed.
It seems that both of my children modeled my behavior and lost their respective minds and collapsed emotionally.
Vivienne has a cold, too and obviously can’t blow her own nose at 7 months old. (We’re working on it. Right after she starts doing her own laundry.) So, we use the standard blue snot-sucker-outer to clear her nasal passageways and she loathes it. Like shaking, screaming, crying-loathes-it. I seriously start to ask myself, “Really? Should I just leave the snot in her nose? This isn’t worth it. She can breathe, can’t she?”
And, she’s been wanting to eat every two-seconds during the day. Yes, I’m a breastfeeder. However, this far into the game I am not a, “You-can-eat-whenever-you-get-the-urge” kind of Mom. I mean I don’t hold out and make the child starve (she weighs 17.4 lbs), but let’s just say I qualify the situation. Sadly, though — at this point my uptop is my ace in the hole and well, if it stops the screaming (and helps a potential growth spurt) — I’m happy to do my job. So constant nursing has been awesome this past weekend.
Oh, and Vivienne has recently been inspired by Tenzing Norgay and is climbing up EVERYTHING in our house like it’s Mount Everest. (SHE IS SEVEN MONTHS OLD.) Biggest issue with that? Oh yeah, the part where she can’t get herself down from wherever she is. Most notably: standing. So she screams and screams and screams until you rescue her… from standing.
“Oh, give her some time, she’ll figure it out. She’ll stop screaming and just sit down on her butt.”
RIGHT. I tried that. You try and listen to your 7-month-old screaming at the very tippy-top of her lungs for 12 minutes because she’s stuck in the standing (???) position.
I’d totally wait it out if she and her sister didn’t share a wall and if it wasn’t the best time of the day: nap time.
Vivienne’s screaming. Lila’s trying to nap. Then Vivienne screams louder. Then Lila screams. Then Lila tries to help the situation by singing, through the walls, at the top of her lungs to Vivienne. Then Vivienne keeps screaming.
So yeah, Lila?
Well, she’s been a titch unstable, too. Mostly in the arena of napping. She may be ready to give up all naps, we are adamantly not. So, therein lies another conflict. (She naps fine on most days… just not on the days when I need for her to.)
As I type this, Lila is screaming.
C. told her to go back to bed a thousand times already this afternoon and she objects each and every time.
She will not be deterred.
Every time we go in her room to deal with her, she’s either a.) wearing all of her jewelry and singing, b.) playing with her books/dishes/fake food, or c.) confirming with us that when she gets up she can “go outside and wing” [swing] and go “real high” and say, “weeee”.
Her words, not mine.
YES. IF YOU GO TO SLEEP YOU CAN GO OUTSIDE AND WING AND GO REAL HIGH AND SAY WEE.
IF YOU DO NOT GO TO SLEEP YOU WILL NEVER, EVER, EVER DO ANYTHING FUN EVER AGAIN AND WE WILL NEVER FEED YOU EVER AGAIN EITHER.
Then she asks, “Why?”
No, of course I don’t say all that to Lila because that would be mean and grossly inappropriate. But let’s be honest, I want to.
[Craig just said it again: “GET IN BED, LILA.” Video monitors are amazing.)
But for real, there’s another issue here: she’s two and she is asking, “Why?”
WHAT? (Ask that in your Little John voice.)
Dum, dee, dum, dum, DUM…
…”BECAUSE I’M THE MOMMY AND I SAID SO.”
Yep. I said it. And I’ll say it again, sister.
So that’s where I am on this Sunday afternoon.
WHAT in the world?
Whose kids are these? They clearly are not mine.
Do these children not understand that I just want to sit on my couch for the rest of the day with my computer on my lap, my remote in my hand and with chocolate and wine at my side and watch the Emmy red carpet?
Someone? Anyone? Let them know for me, ok?
Boo to them.
(No kidding, Vivienne just woke up screaming and I can hear Lila opening her door.)
I’ll tell you what, they’re winning today.