Preface & Disclaimer: Craig convinced me to write this post. I’m struggling with the loss of my Mom and I think he’s right, I needed to focus on something other than grief for a few hours. So, here’s this post. Before writing it, I had an internal conflict: I don’t want it to seem as if I’m not appropriately grieving my Mom, because you guys… oh, you guys… this is the hardest thing I’ve ever, EVER had to go through… but Craig was right. I needed a little escape. So, here we are. It sort of felt good to just be light and irrelevant for a couple of hours. Sigh. Continue to bear with me.
It appears that jewel-tones were the way to go at this year’s emmys. Let’s jump in, shall we?
I’ll make it easy for you right away by saying that Heidi Klum’s Atelier Versace gown was not my worst dressed because it’s just far too easy.
Hideous. A gown shouldn’t have a “neck piece” and that neck piece certainly shouldn’t resemble a thong.
So, the jewel tones.
Alyson Hannigan looked lovely in this Marchesa gown, but only because the color is lovely. The up-top has something strange happening and the bottom looks like one of those curtains you see underneath an old sink at your grandma’s.
What I love about Carrie Underwood is that she’s consistently overdressed. The dress is fine, I suppose — but the Claire’s bridesmaid necklace is just too much.
I believe that Mindy Kaling’s dress was a deep eggplant color and not purple, per se… I don’t have anything to say about her dress, except that I just don’t love it. I don’t hate it either, but let’s just say I’m not scouring the interweb to see if I can buy a knock-off of it.
And then the blues.
Giuliana Rancic looks fine. I don’t adore her gown, I’m more so interested to know how a human being could actually fit in it. She is so thin. I worry about her. But, can I get an amen about how happy we are that she’s cut the extensions off and now has the cutest bob in California?
Why was Maria Menounos there? (Am I missing something?) I’m actually to lazy to google it, which is sad, because we all know that takes all of 15 seconds.
I think what I like about Maria, is that like Carrie Underwood, she always goes big.
She’s a very pretty woman and her gown is lovely but maybe it’s time to consider not highlighting her hair so much? (And that’s just jealousy talking, Maria. Trust me.)
Tina Fey is clearly channeling Jessica Rabbit. I love the color. I hate the halter-top because I will always think that halters are far too Britney Spears, but whoa. She looks fantastic.
Tina gets the most improved award. Again.
Now the greens…
Sarah Hyland is wearing Carolina Herrera and I think it’s gorgeous. However, Sarah’s in her early 20’s and I think this look is just a teensy bit too mature for her. And, in case you were wondering, I also happen to not like the dark burgundy lips the side part or the earrings. It’s all too much.
This tweet says it all.
But, you know I love the prints. I’d wear that. In a heartbeat.
I just don’t think the side fins do anything for this gown. But, I loved her in My Girl.
So here’s Jon Hamm and his long-time lady friend (who says that?), Jennifer Westfeldt.
Her dress looked a lot like Kelly Osbourne’s. Beautiful, though. I love the color and flutter sleeve.
Someone, anyone, why is her hair still purple? I thought it was a phase… I was hoping it was… I just can’t stand it. But I do enjoy her.
This dress is fine on Jennifer (above) but boring on someone Kelly Osbourne’s age.
Sofia Vergara is the Halle Berry of the Emmy’s.
It’s too easy for her.
Yes, you’re gorgeous.
Yes, your body is incredible.
Yes, you always wear too big of earrings.
Yes, yes and yes.
Fine. You win.
(Only Sofia can wear a dress the same.color.as.the.carpet and not look like an oaf.)
Zooey Deschanel and I have the same bangs and I’m annoyed about hers as much as I am mine. (Are bangs out yet? It’s ok. I won’t be hurt. I need an excuse to get rid of mine.)
I think this is the best she’s ever looked in a lovely ice blue J. Mendel. It’s just her hair. It’s way too anchorwoman.
I feel that at every awards show you need to have someone willing to go all solar-system-alien-esque. Props to Vera Farmiga.
I don’t hate it. Wait. Is that velvet?
If it is, I do hate it.
The jury’s out.
Good hair. Gorgeous lace. Lovely.
(She is far more woman than I will ever be and I’m willing to say that she’s far more woman than you will ever be, too.)
Um, I don’t know who Aubrey Plaza is, but I love this dress. LOVE IT.
Amy Poehler continues to wear the most ill-fitting and unflattering gowns at every.single.awards.show.
I hate this.
Why can’t Tina help her?
Kate Mara is rocking white in J. Mendel and, I think it’s great. I love her hair and makeup, too. Tre chic. (No. If you were wondering, I indeed do not speak French.)
I just don’t like this. Padma Lakshmi, I’m sorry, I just don’t like it. And whenever I think of her, I think of Tim Gunn. In his book, he actually called out Padma for being a jerk and I always thought, “Seriously? If Tim Gunn doesn’t like you and he’s willing to write about you in his book AND call you out by name, you must really be a jerk.”
Oy. I hope she and Tim make it work.
(Pun totally intended.)
Kiernan Shipka looks adorable. Age appropriate and completely suitable. I love this. This was one of my favorites. Flowers? A print? A t-shirt-like top? Count the younger-version-of-me in. I’d wear this, ten years ago. Ok, 15 years ago…
Julie Louis-Dreyfus looks sophisticated and lovely and also age-appropriate in this Monique Lhuillier. Her hair and makeup are fantastic. Absolutely lovely.
And I’m not even a Seinfeld fan.
Oh, January Jones… You know, I think what pleases me the most about this gown is that for once, January doesn’t look frightening. The color? Not all that flattering, sure. The dress? Sort of matronly and Sound-of-Music-ish, but seriously – at least we aren’t alarmed when we looked at her.
Claire Danes totally knows how to do the nude-colored slip dress. And she looks about a thousand times happier than the model on the left.
I think that there are exactly two people in the universe who could pull of this gown (both seen below) and that it’s quite beautiful. I’m a sucker for lace.
As a Sofia the First fan, I was pleased to see Ariel Winter looking adorable and age appropriate. I feel for the drama she has with her Mom and I also think it’s sad that I know about the drama she has with her Mom. Though, I’d like to say that I only read people.com and no longer frequent ANY other pop culture sites. No seriously, I really and truly don’t. (I can get all of the
dirt news I need on People.)
And then there’s this: Zosia Mamet in this Honor gown. Here’s the thing, I love the gown minus the black eye-mask/sanitary napkin thing. The color/print is incredible and fun. I love it. I just hate that black thing.
Far too distracting.
And, my best dresses-o-the-evening were:
I don’t know what it was about this, but I loved Anna Gunn’s asymmetrical black lace top over the trumpet pink skirt. Lovely.
Next, Elisabeth Moss looks fantastic.
Definitely one of my best dressed. She’s wearing Andrew Gn and I love, love, love this.
(Did you know she’s a scientologist? My computer is not recognizing “scientologist” as a word and the red squiggly line is appearing and for some reason that makes me feel as if I just won a boxing match against Tom Cruise.)
You’re probably surprised, but I love Julianne Hough’s gown.
Ok, less her gown and more so her… confidence.
Was it entirely appropriate to wear this to the Emmy’s? No, but I mean, if anyone can do it – she can. She’s 25? Good for her for being so confident that she can wear Bridget Jones granny britches in broad daylight in front of people who are far more successful than her.
Nicely done, Julianne.
Oh, Lady Mary, I love the bow. Michelle Dockery in Prada is amazing. This is a halter I can get behind. I adore the bow. You know I love the colors.(orange)
I truly, love, love, love this.
Great hair. Great makeup. All the way around, perfection.
And, my best dressed of the evening:
There’s something about Allison Williams’ Ralph Lauren gown that I love.
Maybe I identify with the color right now?
Her hair is gorgeous. Her jewelry, simple.
I enjoyed this overall look.
My best dressed for the 2013 Emmy’s.
Worst Dressed #5: Julie Bowen
She picked this?
I hate this so much. The color. The draping. The bottom. This is wholly unfortunate.
It’s just so bad.
Worst dressed #4: Malin Akerman
This is not Weddings with David Tutera. (Although I do watch that show.) This is a wedding gown.
At the Emmy’s.
Worst Dressed #3: Kerry Washington
I don’t know what it is about this Marchesa gown but I had a visceral reaction to it. I just hated it. I think it’s just too much. It’s overly constructed, too much of a floral look, too much of an underwear look, too much of a girly vibe. Blech. Pass.
Worst Dress #2: Jessica Pare
This is hideous.
It’s too messy and disheveled. I can’t handle it.
PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER.
The bust (how’s that for a technical term?) is far too messy. This all looks like a mistake.
Boo. Hiss. Burn it.
(If your dress is that messy, at least make your hair sleek and put together!)
AND, the worst dressed of the night is going to be re-named, “Worst Look of the Evening” and that honor goes to sweet little Anna Faris. (I’m sorry.)
First off, I offer my respect for trying out a color but… that yellow on that fair of skin with that blonde of hair… it’s so wrong.
When she was talking to Giuliana on the E! red carpet I just felt that she was too teeny-tiny for that dress. And then throw in the makeup and the hair – it was just all wrong.
I’m sorry, Anna. I just have to do this.