(Ignore any grammar spelling errors. It’s late. I’m tired.)
Update as of 9:40 a.m. MT – I added Miley Cyrus. I had originally forgotten about her. (It happens.)
I love the Met Gala gowns.
First, some background from wikipedia:
“The Met Gala, formally called the Costume Institute Gala and also known as the Met Ball, is an annual fundraising gala for the benefit of theMetropolitan Museum of Art‘s Costume Institute in New York City. It marks the grand opening of the Costume Institute’s annual fashion exhibit. Each year’s event celebrates the theme of that year’s Costume Institute exhibition, and the exhibition sets the tone for the formal dress of the night since guest are expected to choose their fashion to match the theme of the exhibit. Each year the event also has honorary celebrity event day chairpersons.”
So, this year the theme was, “China: Through the looking glass.”
Before I start, I honestly will say that I’m sensitive to this. When I read the theme online a couple of days ago I thought, “Oh geez, it’s going to be a bunch of inappropriately-styled skinny women wearing kimonos and asian-themed eyeliner. Some people are going to be taking this far.too.literally.“
Looks like I wasn’t too far off.
And it also looks like this is actually called “appropriation.”
And it also appears that kimonos are Japanese and most def not Chinese. (Thank you, Fawnia Soo Hoo.) Embarrassingly, I didn’t know that…
Let’s dig in. (All photos are Getty Images, unless otherwise stated, and are from vogue.com.)
Amal Clooney in Maison Margiela.
It’s gorgeous. Click on the image to make it larger. The detailing on the bodice and the skirt? Stunning.
I mean, she could be wearing Beyonce’s “outfit”.
So. Yeah. Ok.
(This is Chloe Sevigny wearing J.W. Anderson.)
I mean, the choker is horrendous. But the gown? I mean? Maybe it would be better on someone with a smaller chest? Or something? This is all too much. Two bracelets, too? A hacked up kimono?
Now, if I was forced to wear a gown with birds on it, I’d wear this Tory Burch. Dianna Agron looks stunning. I love this. It’s perfectly fitted.
So then there’s Tory Burch wearing Tory Burch.
It’s fine. You know I love a good print.
Even if there’s mauve/dusty rose in it.
So here’s Dylan Lauren wearing what I am assuming is Ralph Lauren.
You guys. LOOK at all of this.
THIS is a woman after my own heart. She clearly loves color. And rhinestones. And body suits. And belts. And tulle. And dangly earrings. And big hair. (I love her hair. And her highlights.)
Aside from this being sort of not appropriate, she’s cute. This reminds me of Lila and Vivienne; when they wear all of their favorite things at one time.
(Also, before we move on, please notice she is wearing a bejewled bodysuit shirt/top thing and a several tiered jewel necklace for comprehensive fancy jewel coverage.)
I want to be her friend.
This is Elisabeth Von Thurn wearing Jimmy Dean.
(Get it? That headdress reminds me of the Jimmy Dean Sunshine. Let’s just say I met him once back a few years ago. Very nice. Smiled just like the commercial.)
So, then there’s this.
And then there’s this.
Which, I seriously have no problem with. I mean, at least her body is covered up. Rihanna by Guo Pei.
It’s the Met Gala. This doesn’t bother me at all. But practically speaking, I would imagine this was exceptionally warm for springtime in NY, no?
Elizabeth Banks is wearing a questionable gown by Micheal Kors. While I like the color and it happens to match my new laptop case, I just don’t love the cut-outs with the uber-low neck.
So, here’s Sarah Jessica Parker wearing flames on her head.
There’s virtually no denying that her Philip Treacy headpiece is eye-catching and something she can wear again.
(SJP is wearing H&M. Cool. She had to, word on the street is that she blew her budget on her hat.)
Amanda Seyfried never wears anything that I like.
Here’s Givenchy and I don’t like the halter, sure… but I especially don’t like the u-shaped embellishments that are at her hips and I loathe the ruffles in the front… and the WHITE SHOES?
Selena Gomez is wearing Vera Wang. And I think it’s cute and age appropriate. She’s beautiful.
I’d cut off those tassels, though.
Madonna is wearing Alexander Wang.
It’s fine. But it’s not age appropriate.
(And is it me, or does Madonna look startling like Kirstie Alley in this shot?)
So here’s Mary Kate Olsen and Ashley Olsen (I’ve heard they don’t like it when people say their names together, which means I’m pretty certain they totally don’t like being called, “The Olsen Twins” either.)
Here they are wearing Vintage Dior and John Galliano.
I think they just need some Disneyland in their life.
And I legitimately wonder how tall they are. Look at those dresses. They’re puddling on the floor. One of them doesn’t have an arm? This is a lot, a lot, a lot of black.
I’d like to see the detailing up close before I make my final judgement.
In complete and utter contrast here’s Kristen Wiig wearing Prebal Gurung. Very few people can wear yellow. I think she can. She looks lovely.
I’d rather talk to her at a party then those twins up there.
Kendall Jenner is wearing Calvin Klein Collection.
Whatever. It’s fine.
BUT, I am impressed that out of all of the KardashianJenners she’s the ONLY one who seems to have a viable talent/skill. I hear she’s an incredible model.
Kate Hudson’s look is so contrived. I just can’t stand it. The Michael Kors gown is fine – yet bordering on tacky,but that bun, the hair thing? I can’t.
This may shock you, but I love this.
It’s simple and elegant and structured yet flowy and I like it. Here’s Carey Mulligan wearing Balenciaga.
I love it.
This looks like a grown up version of a dress on one of the “It’s a Small World” robots at Disneyland.
I’m sorry that Hannah Bagshawe is wearing an icky Valentino gown.
I have a guttural reaction to Ivanka Trump’s Prabal Gurung gown.
I just think the train is far too long and I just hate it. It’s like an after-thought. It reminds me an inside-out fancy-schmancy strapless choir robe.
I sort of like Jennifer Connelly in this Louis Vuitton gown. If ONLY the sleeves were shorter, I’d throw this on my best-dressed list. I mean, what’s not to love about poofy sleeves?
You can put your snacks in ’em.
So here’s Donatella Versace and Jennifer Lopez both wearing Atelier Versace.
Donatella doesn’t bother me, that woman is who she is.
Jennifer Lopez is kind of killing me. Too.much.skin.ALL.of.the.time. Google this dress. Her whole bottom shows. (Almost.)
Now my worst-dressed peeps.
Miley Cyrus is wearing a an Alexander Wang gown wherein the peep-holes are TOO expansive.
You can nearly see her vagina.
This was made for a taller woman. I sort of want to put Bieber’s Balmain jacket on her.
Here’s Kim Kardashian wearing Roberto Cavalli.
At first glance I thought I liked it… but then I was just offended by it.
It’s ok to be elegant and not show so much skin. Leave something to the imagination? Maybe? (I must remember that I’m talking to a Kardashian.)
That said, I think she did the right thing with her hair and makeup.
(Those shoulder adornments are killing me.)
And my worst-dressed?
Queen B, or Bey or Bea or Bae or whatever in Givenchy.
This offends me.
My comments for Kimmy K. can just be copied and pasted here.
Do you really need to do this?
The **only** way this ensemble is kosher for me is if the foot attire is actually a pair of ice skates.
And the styling? The Barbie pony tail is just more than I can handle.
This look is so disappointing.
There are other way to own your sexuality and femininity.
And now for my best dressed:
Solange wearing Giles Deacon.
Oh, this makes me smile. Perhaps Solange wore this huge fan so that she could cover up Beyonce, because that’s what sisters do.
“Here, you wear almost nothing and I’ll wear way more than I need and then I will shield you, like I did last year in the elevator with your husband.”
Mama Tina raised ’em right.
(Remember last year at the Met Ball when Solange when crazy on Jay-Z in the elevator? I heard Jay-Z was ONLY taking the stairs this year.)
This makes me so happy. If Solange can’t wear that, I don’t know who can.
Katy Perry keeps.it.real.
This Mochino gown is true to the essence de Katy Perry . It’s so her. Would I wear it? No. Absolutely not. But she can.
I love, love, love Alicia Keys in this John Paul Gaultier. The tulle and the femininity against the structure of the blazer. I love the cropped top, too. I love this.
Cool ring, too.
I mean, are you ready?
Maggie Gyllenhaal is my best dressed.
And most notably, she is wearing a HALTER.
I love this Roland Mouret gown. I love the asymmetrical sensibility. I love the different widths of halter straps at the neckline. (This is the ONLY halter I will ever like.)
I love the peek-a-boo . I love the belt. I love all of this.
What did YOU think?