Will I ever sit on the flight from Dallas to Springfield, Missouri without tears in my eyes? It has been two years and six months since I sat on the plane – dazed – flying from Cabo to Springfield on that first full day that Shirley wasn’t on earth. I remember praying that no one would say hello to me at the airport or on the plane. I averted my eyes. I spent a lot of time staring. And I wrote. I wrote the timeline of what happened.
I’ve found that looking outward is a good way to get through grief. See beyond yourself. Know that you’re not the only one out there without parents. Exhale empathy, inhale gratitude that both of my parents were mine. But, there are times during this continuum of loss that I have tunnel vision and I briefly get lost in my own sadness. I wallow. I think we all do? It doesn’t happen as frequently as it did after her car accident. And it doesn’t weigh as much, either. After she died, I felt a cinder block on each shoulder and two on my heart. Today, two years and six months later, I feel instances, small periods of weight. And the grief I feel during these times has changed. It’s morphed into something I can’t quite label; it isn’t raw disbelief and amazement and shock, like it once was.
—The Story of Loss. On Losing my Mom.
September 30, 2013 :: Slivers of Sunlight :: Post here.
October 6, 2013 :: That first week.Those first days :: Post here.
October 14, 2013 :: 14 days after :: Post here.
October 20, 2013 :: I found a treasure :: Post here.
November 4, 2013 :: She’s been gone for 4 weeks :: Post here.
November 13, 2013 :: I smile and drive and cry and smile and cry :: Post here.
November 17, 2013 :: Weekends aren’t easy :: Post here.
November 26, 2013 :: The holidays, the firsts :: Post here.
December 1, 2013 :: 8 weeks :: Post here.
December 10, 2013 :: The Dream :: Post here.
December 19, 2013 :: Vulnerability and Moving Forward :: Post here.
December 22, 2013 :: The reminders. They’re everywhere :: Post here.
December 29, 2013 :: 2013 :: Post here.
January 1, 2014 :: The New Year :: Post here.
January 7, 2014 :: 2 days from 4 months :: Post here.
January 17, 2014 :: Another Gift :: Post here.
January 25, 2014 :: She would have been 60 today :: Post here.
February 9, 2014 :: Five months :: Post here.
March 6, 2014 :: Almost six months :: Post here.
March 27, 2014 :: One of the Best Gifts Ever :: Post here.
April 1, 2014 :: We’re all in this together :: Post here.
April 24, 2014 :: 7 Months, Easter and Nope, I’m still not normal. :: Post here.
May 6, 2014 :: Mother’s Day without a Mom :: Post here.
June 1, 2014 :: Moving “forward” :: Post here.
July 6, 2014 :: Denial & acceptance & blah, blah, blah :: Post here.
August 20, 2014 :: So, I’m 35 :: Post here.
September 2, 2014 :: 7 days :: Post here.
September 8, 2014 :: The Day Before a Year :: Post here.
September 9, 2014 :: Hello, one year :: Post here.
October 11, 2014 :: The brain is funny :: Post here.
November 6, 2014 :: Love :: Post here.
November 30, 2014 :: Post here.
December 4, 2014 :: Another feather. Post here.
December 28, 2014 :: All was calm, all is bright. Post here.
January 18, 2015 :: They’re always with us? They’re always with us. Post here.
January 25, 2015 :: And today I remember. Post here.
March 8, 2015 :: A year and a half later. Post here.
April 16, 2015 :: And here I stand. Post here.
April 29, 2015 :: Joan & Shirley. Post here.
August 26, 2015 :: Perspective. Post here.
September 9, 2015 :: Two Years After. Post here.
November 1, 2015 :: Watching others go through it. Post here.
January 25, 2016 :: Happy Birthday, Mom. Post here.
March, 5, 2016 ::
I hope you and Taryn have a wonderful time together!!!!
Thank you, friend. It's been wonderful.
Big hugs to you, Kylee.
And that's why I cry when I read your blog posts. I'm SO very thankful she was yours, too. Hugs to you, dear one.