In yet another entertaining installment of, Stuff they Say, I bring you Lila and Vivi, ages 7 and 6, respectively.
This one comes directly from Vivienne.
Me: “Seriously, I love repeating myself 10-15 times to you both. I just really like hearing my own voice again and again.”
Vivienne: “Mommy, are you being serious or are you just being ‘startastic’?”
Excellent question, Vivi. While I AM a star and I think that ‘startastic’ should be added to the Webster’s dictionary, to confirm I really was just be SARcastic.
2. A “bulbed” head.
This one also can be attributed to Vivienne.
Vivi: “My baby has a ‘bulbed’ head. She doesn’t have any hair.”
I’ll give her 10 points on this one. A light bulb is hairless and smooth, like a bald head.
3. Ohhhhh… this was a close call.
So Lila was digging through my desk drawer and stumbled across these:
They’re little certificates that the Tooth Fairy leaves when she comes to visit.
I’m just hopping out of the shower and she bursts into the bathroom, the color has drained from her face. In her hand, a page with two certificates printed on them.
Her: “TELL ME that you’re not the tooth fairy.” (She was pleading with extreme conviction.)
Me: “Who? Me? No. Why?
Her: [thrusts the certificates at me] “LOOK!”
Me: “Oh, wow. Where did you find these?”
Lila: “IN YOUR DESK DRAWER!” (She’s shocked.)
Me: “Oh wow. Oh my gosh? LILA? DO YOU THINK THE TOOTH FAIRY PUT THEM THERE???? I mean…”
Her: she gives me the, tell me more face…
Me: “… I mean, who knows if the Tooth Fairy has access to a printer? I would guess that she probably just uses our printer when we’re not home and maybe just puts the extra stuff for each family IN the house where she needs to visit. Maybe she prepares every house for a loose tooth. You know, they happen at any time…”
[My hair is dripping. I’m hopeful at this point that she’s come around to my way of thinking.]
Lila: [her shoulders relax, I think she exhaled.] “Right… that make sense…”
Lila: “Totally… [she pauses…] … we just need to wait and see if the Tooth Fairy uses one of these certificates when either Vivi or I lose another tooth!”
Me: “GREAT idea, Lila. Put them back in the desk drawer and we’ll wait and see.”
She walks away.
I stand there. In my towel. I exhale and think to myself, “Yet another crisis averted. I’m winning…”
|Lila showing her Dad the certificates after he got home from work. And after I got dressed after the debacle.|
4. I love this one. It literally had no set up.
Lila: “There’s a lot to learn from history.”
Yes, it’s true.
Examples of what we can learn from history:
1.) Perms are never a good idea.
2.) Know who you’re voting for.
5. So, recently I’ve been enjoying some dietary challenges. I’ve been gluten free (by Doctor’s orders, not my own) for four months and I’m newly dairy free. (Long story. I hope it’s not forever.) It’s been… a transition and I wish I could tell you that I’m not emotionally-attached to cheese, but man… And ya’ll, gluten is in EVERYTHING. Let’s take a moment to publicly be thankful that gluten and dairy are not in wine.
Anywho, my sweet husband is trying to be as supportive as possible. The other day, either Lila or Vivi made a meal suggestion for me to cook. (The girls still eat gluten and dairy, as does Craig.)
I said, “I can make that for you, but Mommy can’t have that.”
Craig, my sweet husband said, “We don’t need that… let’s just have something else…”
Lila and Vivi sat at the kitchen bar, eyebrows raised. They were totally impressed by Craig’s sacrifice. “Wow!” Lila said. “He must really love you.”
Boom. Yes. We’re showing our girls what real love is: It’s a life partner who won’t eat the good things just because you can’t.
1 million points for Craig.
0 points for gluten.
6. We just got back from a little weekend excursion and Lila was outside with Craig washing the dirt-road residue off of my Jeep.
Vivienne was inside with me. We were making sea shell necklaces from some treasures we found along the beach.
Viv looks at me and says, “You know, it’s so nice and quiet without Lila here.”
Me: “It’s true.”
(It really is true.)
Me: [feeling kind of guilty for saying that] “But, Lila really is pretty great, though…”
a few seconds later…
Vivienne: “Right. I do love her. She’s a blessing.”
7. And next, my favorite one that occurred about 45 minutes ago.
I was sitting at the table at my computer after a looooong day. The girls were upstairs playing legos singing, “Karma Chameleon” in their playroom / workout room / TV room. (I think it’s imperative to introduce them to such hits as Lucile, Jolene, I don’t want to lose your love tonight, by The Outfield, Journey (in genera), Sunshine go away today… you get the picture.)
Lila: Mommy, do you want to play legos with us?”
Me: “Lila, I’m tired. I just want to sit [and blog]”
Vivienne, without a hint of sarcasm in the cutest, most pure voice ever: “She loves us, Lila. She just doesn’t have time for us.”
Laughing. Dying. Amazing
And Boom. Vivi won.
“She loves us, Lila. She just doesn’t have time for us.”