So I have a system for these red carpet Fashion Recaps.
I DVR the E! Red Carpet, I also DVR the pre-show red carpet and of course, the show.
Then, after the girls go bed, I park mysself in front of my laptop and the TV and forward through it all, watching interviews here and there, looking at clothes and dresses. I usually watch the shows while I’m writing.
The Grammy awards are too much for me to handle. The “fashion” is some sort of weird cross between The Deb / Forever 21 and Fredricks of Hollywood.
I cringe. I turn my head curiously to the side. Such blatant attention seeking, right?
But truly… this fashion is entertaining.
And then there was the interview with Lil Uzi and Giuliana Rancic on E! that I think made her day as much as it made mine. It was amazing. She kept asking him questions and he’d respond with one-word answers, but also some gems.
Giuliana to Lil Uzi: What’s next for you?
Lil Uzi: “…Waking up. Eat some pop tarts.”
Giuliana smiles and looks at the camera: “Favorite interview of the night.”
Let’s get started, shall we? Ignore any grammar errors. There will probably be a few. It’s late.
It seems like the theme was strong feminine pantsuits, ice skater attire and nonsense. Just like every year.
BEST ARSENIO HALL THROWBACK:
Anna Kendrick wearing Balmain.
I know that I had a jacket like that in 7th grade. I paired mine with black hammer pants and flats, but Anna’s shoulder-pad ensemble worked.
Alessia Cara looks perfect.
I love this look.
She’s her. All the time. Just her.
I like a good print. But this, stop it. That crotch flower is ill-placed and this suit is ill-fitting.
Why the nude body suit?
At this point, wear turquoise or cheetah print with it and call it a day. You’re almost to the finish line, run.
I hate chokers.
Cyndi Lauper is perfect in this suit.
It’s colorful and true to her. (I promise to not make a True Colors reference.)
Not sure if you’d call this a suit, but I love, love, love India Arie. I was just playing her in the car the other day for the girls.
I love this look.
Look! Another strong shoulder.
LOVE this. I’d wear it in a hot second. (I’m too lazy to copy and paste this to the bottom of the post, but this is also a best dressed.)
Kesha is doing a Western vibe and I don’t mind it.
She’s had a rough go of it.
Let’s just let her live.
(I’d wear those shoes and I know my daughter would, too.)
Ok, on to the gentlemen. I thought this would be fun.
So the fact that the composer of Evita, Cats and SO many more musicals, is giving us that hand gesture, for some reason, cracks me up to pieces.
Benn Platt is a doll and I like that plaid. And the fun shirt. And the shoulder embellishments.
Camryn Howard looks fancy and awards shows are fancy, so… this is perfect.
A 3-dimensional jacket? Again. Another win.
I cant stand it when whites don’t match. I feel the same way about the color black.
I can’t emotionally handle this. We have white-white and yellow-white and…
…I can’t can’t.
He just looks happy to be there and I think that’s great.
YES. Give me some fashion. Love this asymmetrical mess.
I love his hair. His glasses. Yes.
Lil Uzi is defying gravity in terms of pant weight.
Er… maybe you could dress up a little Joe Jonas?
Take your coat off? Maybe?
You’re far too non-committal. Are you staying? Are you going?
I don’t have time for this.
And… this is how you do it.
Ne-Yo looks fantastic in a blazer that I myself, would love to have.
Ditch the 1990 boys band suit. And the 1997, three-ring t-shirt.
And just, no.
The color. The cut. All of it.
This is giving me a headache.
Take a moment and really appreciate Rick Ross’ beard.
THIS is everything.
I love Trevor Noah.
That was Dick Clark’s blazer, but whatever.
Again, I’d wear this suit, right now. I do fear that it would be too small, but I love it on Zayn.
Excellent sock game, too.
SHOULDER PADS again.
Kristin Cavallari looks lovely, albeit sullen, but lovely.
Lana Del Rey in Gucci is lovely. Ethereal.
If I had to chose that eye-makeup or that headband, I’d forego the eye-makeup and do the headband.
I mean, that headband, ya’ll.
That bath pouf on her wrist, though?
I just feel like I’ve seen iterations of this dress 3 million times.
MOST OVERDONE DRESS.
So, this is Sza, and because I’m old and listen to NPR, I don’t know how to pronounce her name.
I like the top of this dress until the wrists and the crotch. What exactly are you trying to do with all of that material after those two points?
There is nothing worse than, while walking, one gets a bunch of material caught up between one’s legs.
This dressed added MORE material so that it looks that much more awkward.
So here’s Alison Krauss.
I love her and while I wouldn’t ever wear this dress, which sort of looks like a walking shark bite, I do love her.
Voice of an angel.
Dress of a shark-bite victim.
Ashanti’s Yas Couture by Elie Madi gown is LOVELY… but, it’s clearly not lined.
So there’s that.
That reminds me of a joke. That I can’t tell.
(I think the guy in the background knows that her top is transparent, so he’s respectfully looking away.)
I do not know Cardi B personally, but from what I’ve seen this is a more demure outfit choice.
And, I like it! I think it’s super fun. (I want to know more about the back. Is that wings? Is it a train? A bustle?)
The white shoes are super 80s.
GAH! This is terrible.
Camila Cabello is stunning, but this gown’s ruching is terrible.
It’s very satin sheets.
And a.) no one should have satin sheets (satin doesn’t breathe) and b.) no one wants to look like they’re wearing satin sheets.
No, but does she know that we can see her spanx?
Just so humble.
It’s like, you hardly even know she’s there.
Heidi Klum loves a costume party.
Apparently the Grammy’s is another costume party.
This is just not… working for me.
This gown is too big. I just feel like the waist needs to be more empire-like.
I do like how delicate the dress is, though. It looks lovely on her.
I want to be Khalid’s friend.
He rocks that [lime green?] turtle neck quite well.
ARTIST I WAS MOST EXCITEDLY SURPRISED TO SEE:
“You say, I only hear what I want to…”
I knew every.single.word to the entire Reality Bites soundtrack and I wanted to look like Lisa Loeb.
Top knot. Glasses. KILLER MASTER OF THE UNIVERSE ARMS? YES.
(I’m not even looking at the dress, I’m just so happy to see her.)
Jeans and a t-shirt? Slays.
Poofy feather dress? Slays.
Everyday life? Slays.
I’m a Pink fan. 4-eva.
(Not sure that belt was necessary, though.)
Miley Cyrus looks pretty.
Sarah Silverman‘s sleeves are not flattering.
She’s also wearing a choker.
Rita Ora looks stunning. This was a gorgeous dress.
The couples made me smile.
How thoughtful of Beyonce to wear that hat.
While sitting in the front row.
With people behind her.
Chrissy, your unborn child just tweeted me.
She needs to you to take that belt off.
This is when fashion doesn’t quite matter. Be comfortable, you beautiful lady.
The sun rises.
The sun sets.
And Elton John dresses like this.
I was so happy to see the Gaffigans.
Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee with Mr. Seinfeld is one of my favorite shows.
Mrs. Seinfeld’s high hair gives me hope, and fear, that maybe 80’s hair may creep back in?
What is happening here?
This reminds me of when I used to take dance class and we all had to wear the same shiny panty hose, no matter what our real skin tone looked like.
This poor woman looks so weird. It’s ill-fitting, the wrong shade, and ugly.
I LOVED this…
Hailee Steinfeld in Alexandre Vauthier is perfection. Divine. Love the gown. Love the modern boot. Love the eye-shadow.
My BEST DRESSED of the night: Janelle Monae. She’s wearing Dolce & Gabbana and it.is.perfection.
I usually think she’s the best dressed, tonight is no different.
I adore this.
The best line of the night was said by Ms. Monae when she was referring to women in industry, any industry:
“We come in peace, but we mean business.”
We do mean business.