Quick reminders about “Momming” for my Lila and my Vivi when they become mamas.
1. No one knows what they’re doing.
Sometimes I say, “Because I said so…” because I am either a.) too tired to explain something to you or b.) because I really don’t know why it’s important that you pick up the little backs of the stickers that you’ve left all over the floor but I’m already in too deep and there’s no going back.
I don’t always know what I’m doing.
Basically, motherhood is a solid mix of tears, wine, guessing, googling and prayer.
2. Momming hurts.
Physically, having a baby hurts. And physically, momming a child hurts, too.
As it turns out, no mom in history has been able to successfully prevent hurt, pain, embarrassment or sadness to their child. This, this causes pain. Physical pain to the Mamas.
The little (the adult-sized) hearts that walk and run and leap and jump outside of our bodies fall physically and emotionally and it hurts mamas just as badly.
Get ready for that.
(It’s worth it.)
3. Saying no isn’t as fun as it seems.
But, we do it so that you’re strong, full of character and integrity and first and foremost so that you’re not little-kid-jerks who grow up to be big-kid-jerks.
So, Lila and Vivi, when you have children, remember that it’s ok to say no. As far as I’m concerned, you both have enough friends and so do I. So… let’s be parents and kids right now and maybe friends later.
After you move out, get a job and vote, then we’ll be friends and my no’s will come to a noticeable cessation.
4. After you go to bed we DO eat the good food.
Sometimes I save the chocolate to eat, quietly, after you go to bed, with a good book, because I can.
It’s a French Benefit (who remember that commercial) of parenting.
I do not feel guilt about it.
Self-care, in all shapes and forms, is necessary for adulthood and especially for momhood.
So, take care of you. Then, take care of them.
5. I really do know who you are, even if I can’t remember your name.
I call you my sister’s name, your cousin’s name, my brother’s name and your sister’s name… and then finally, I get to you.
It’s not that I don’t remember who you are, it’s just that my brain is tired.
YOU are the first thing I think about when I wake up and usually the last thing I think of before I go to bed. Just because I can’t recall your name doesn’t mean that I don’t recall your homework, when your library book is due, what your favorite food is, when your next orthodontist appointment is and that we’re on Chapter 2 of Junie B. Jones Book 32.
My brain may not remember your name but my heart holds you close.
6. I mess up.
Moms mess up. We say things when we’re really mad. We slam doors. Sometimes we throw all of your things in the middle of the room because we’re so sick of it lying all over the house all the time. (#confession.)
I show you who I am, the good and the bad, so that you can know that when you grow up that who you are, the good and the bad, it’s ok.
As long as we strive to be better every day and we live by God’s love and commandments, we’re golden.
So, sorry for messing up here and there. But in all honesty, expect more mistakes in the coming days, months and years.
Lila and Vivienne,
Being yo mama has been one of the proudest accomplishments of my life.
When I experience your senses of humor…
When I’m a recipient or observer of your thoughtfulness and kindness…
When I wake up and see you breathing, in good health and good cheer, I couldn’t be happier and more content.
I’m proud of who you are and I’m excited to see who you will become.
I expect a lot. Because you can accomplish a lot.
Big things are in store for you, my girls.
I believe in you.
Thanks for making me a mama.
I love you to the moon and back a bajillion times.
To my mama:
I make sure to drink from this cup each Mother’s Day.
It was from you.
I miss you more and more each year and it would be a lie to say that a day goes by without me thinking about you.
I cry in the car.
And then I smile.
Because you were great.
Happy Mother’s Day, friends.
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