2020 Oscar Red Carpet Fashion Recap

Updated Monday 12:002 p.m. MT. I forgot a couple of dresses.

Let’s dig right in with the 2020 Oscar Red Carpet Fashion Recap, shall we?

Boom. Here we have Scarlett Johansson in Oscar de la Renta.

I love tinsel, I love this. Wear it today, dismantle it and use it on the tree next December.

Merry Christmas.

Not a fan of Sibley-Scoles‘ foil dress, but who cares about that?

A.) Her hair is fantastic. And,
B.) HER ARMS ARE killer.

Penélope-Cruz is actually wearing a body poof on the front of her dress and a pearl necklace at her waist.

I don’t understand.

See?

(Kindly note, this is my ten-year-old’s Best Dressed. I’m in trouble.)

There was also another black dress that I didn’t quite understand:

This gown is essentially is a black tube sock with a skirt attached and then paired with a 1980’s swimsuit bandeau top.

Um. Ok?

I did like this one on Charlize Theron. It’s Dior. It’s fine.
But the sleeve falling down kind of drives me nuts.

It looks sloppy.

(But I’m not telling her.)

I’m not certain if Margot Robbie is wearing black or navy, but I do know that I am not confident that the chest piece was the right addition to the outfit.

Edit. Delete. Save.

Speaking of pieces, Tamron Hall added a bedazzled neck/shoulder piece to her simple black number.

I understand that the neckpiece is part of the 2020 Geico Auto Insurance Fashion line that boasts a stylish assortment of neck braces that you can wear to Zumba, your attorney’s office OR the Oscars, after your car is rear-ended…

I hate this.

This Chanel string “halter” gown is awful. The flap-like ruffle napkin in the front is terrible, too. This BEAUTIFUL woman could have been dressed far better. I’m sorry for that they did to you, Margaret Qualley.

Kelly Ripa looked beautiful, her dress, however, just couldn’t decide what it was going to do.

Too many ruffles. Are we a short dress? Are we a long dress? Are we a ruffle on both shoulders? OR one? Are we a cheerleader? (Box pleats.) Or, are we elegant? (Floor length.)

This is a mess.

JUST PICK A RESTAURANT!

Speaking of too much, as well…

This.

And… scene.

Thank you, Zazie Beatz, for making standard awards show black, absolutely lovely.

(And yes, I love that choker. It’s kind of cool.)

In other news, Caitriona Balfe wore black and then put a curtain over it.

So, there’s that.

Ok, so are you still with me after all of that black?

Here’s Ryan-Michelle-Bathé, and I know what you’re thinking…

…you’re thinking that I love this gown…

Why? You think I like it because it’s a print. And crazy-looking…

…but I’ll tell you what, amigos. I do not like this. I think the dress features a few too many 1970s-kitchen-fridge colors for my taste.

Ick.

Beanie Feldstein also wore a print.

The styling? On point.
The halter? Not a fan.
The roses? Just not my jam.

Meh.

Billy Porter is also wearing a pairing that is both demure and calming.

Per always, his ability to subtly convey his fashion perspective deserves a standing o.

Subdued.

Kindly note these ready-for-the-office boots, as well.

(So awesome.)

Katilyn Dever wore Louis Vuitton and it’s STUNNING, but, I don’t think it’s right for her. It is gorgeous, though.

Lucy Boynton is wearing Chanel and there’s something about that Peter Pan collar that I love.

I think this is kind of cute.

Natalie Portman in Dior Haute Couture is just fine. The entire look is a bit not my thing. And I’d never wear it.

But, I do like her hair and I think that the meaning behind the names embroidered on her cape is lovely.

Cynthia Erivo looked amazing. She is a powerhouse. I don’t hate this. It kind of looks like grown-up Tinkerbell, no?

I strongly hope my daughters dress like this when they’re Billie Eilish’s age.

I kind of like this. Chelsea-Winstanley is wearing so much jewelry, which is cool… and I love that green.

The dress does look a little made-in-home-ec class, no? Still, the attempt is praiseworthy.

10 points for the idea.
3 points for the execution.

Perfection on Mindy Kaling.
Perfectly and expertly tailored.
And I adore that shade of goldenrod.

(I would look jaundiced if I wore that.)

(Julia Corden’s blue ribbon made my day. I love this gown.)

Was it just me, or was this particular shade of green kind of barfy? I just don’t think I can get behind this one.

(It’s Greta Gerwig in Dior Haute Couture)

I think Rebel Wilson looked so, so good. The off-the-shoulder, blonde bombshell look was lovely. Well done.

Sandra Oh and a few others wore kind of a metallic blush / rose gold look. I think we all can agree that Sandy’s look is perfect for church.

In all transparency, I think this Elie Saab number is SO ridiculously fun. The sleeves, the rosettes, the bow, the belt, the shimmer and shine… Yes, please.

This is just fun.

Regina King slayed in Versace.
She looks incredible. I usually cannot handle so much asymmetrical chaos, but this.just.works.

And her arms. Oh man, she’s strong.

This is so perfect for the Oscars.

Molly Simms also wore a tawny rose deep-V gown with some throw-back poofy sleeves.

Ya’ll “tawny rose” was a Mary Kay nail color that my mom wore all.of.the.time when I was a kid.

Nuevo-En-Caja-Color-De-Mary-Kay-Escudo-Esmalte-de-Unas-5-OZ-5335-Leonado-Rose

(Isn’t it so bizarre what we remember from childhood?!)

For some reason, this Louis Vuitton dress is inducing some extreme consternation for me. Originally, I thought it was going to be a Best Dressed option. But the more I look at it, the more it annoys me. Florence Pugh is lovely, it’s just that…

The ruffles + the high/low indecisive hemline + the choker = Hurts my heart

No.

I also felt the same internal conflict with Saoirse Ronan in Gucci.
I love the top. That is one CRAZY, FUN, perfectly tailored peplum.
But that taffeta drapery skirt is a grievous miscalculation.
Absolutely, bloody painful.
But then again…
…part of me is like, I LOVE this decision.
I mean, do you.

Good on ya, Saoirse. Good on ya.

I love Rooney Mara’s gown. Very few people could pull off such a joyous and happy gown.
And look?
She’s doing it effortlessly.

(Seriously though, this is just creative and couture and cool.)

I have respect for Spike Lee.

They seem nice. (Rita Wilson looked fantastic.)

Um, did you guys know that Keanu Reeves voices Duke Kaboom in Toy Story 4? I did not!

We love Duke Kaboom. “I-Can-ada!”

Back to fashion. Maya Rudolph looked fantastic. And, I love her hair. And, she’s hilarious. And, I want to be her friend.

(I refuse to say a cross word about Maya.)

Krysty Wilson Cairns dressed like the award.

(There’s always one. Every year. At every awards show.)

Ok, my worst dressed is Salma Hayek.

This is awful. It’s too long. She’s wearing some sort of metallic Greek-inspired headpiece. (Huh?) There is some sort of snake creeping up her arm. (Exercise caution.) The Golden Girls chiffon draping on her shoulder?
Blech. (Old.)

Someone did you wrong, Salma.

This may be unpopular, but I also couldn’t stand the lovely Laura Dern’s gown.

I think Victoria’s Secret scarred all of us who first started buying bras there in the late 90’s. We’re in our 40’s and we now hate pink and black together.

Hard pass.

I feed badly that someone put Camila Morrone in this all crooked-like. The up-top does not fit properly. And this torso, this is not flattering.

Um, this is obviously sad.

And here are my faves.

Geena Davis looked better than ever.

First, there was Renee Zellweger in Armani Privé.
I cannot even fathom wearing a skin-tight, white gown.

She looks incredible. ANd I love that her hair is just… natural.
I love that she’s wearing no necklace, no earrings, no bracelet… just a ring.

Awesome.

Brie Larson looked impeccable in this Celine gown. It fit her like a fancy, fancy glove.

I’m in love.

Another favorite?
Kristen Wiig in Valentino Couture is absolute perfection.

I am IN LOVE with this dress.
Yes, it looks like pasta.
Yes, it may or may not be made out of can coozie neoprene.
Yes, it could perhaps be a costume for a sea anemone…
…but it is WONDERFUL.

The draping, the cut, the tailoring.

I LOVE THIS!