We’re back! I know there’s a boatload happening in the world, but let’s talk about something light and airy, like fashion. We all need it, right?
First though, let’s start with a little bit of history and current events.
First, histor: as Jared Leto and Lady Gaga were on stage at the 2022 SAG Awards, I couldn’t help but tell the girls about when I first set eyes on, and subsequently fell in love with, Jared Leto.
It was on My So Called Life and it was 1994. I was 14 and I locked eyes on Jordan Catalano and that was it.
That choker. That flannel. Those eyes. That hair.
Next, current events:
Ya’ll. Here we in 2022 and Jared Leto hops on stage and I’m like. “Seriously.” He’s still so cute. And I googled it: he’s 50.
So, mind blown.
Jordan Catalano is fifty. And I’m growing my grey out. So… that’s what life is now.
Let’s move on…
We’re going to start with the black gowns…
Here are all of the ones that are just fine.
There were poofy sleeves and neck bows and pockets and corsets and they were… there. Slightly boring.
If I did have to wear a black ensemble, I love these below.
Naomi Watts’ look is so elegant.
I LOVE the straps and skirt and everything about Madeline Brewer‘s ensemble.
Cate Blanchett was a SHOW STOPPER. Probably a Best Dressed for many of you… Incredible. That neckline.
If there were some black dresses I wouldn’t wear, they would take the form of these:
Reese is wearing a cat. [insert the shocked face emoji]
I just can’t handle Hailee Steinfeld’s peek-a-boo gown. I don’t love it.
I feel like Emily just went a bit too hard with the foofy Blanche Devereaux* nightgown adornments. The top, the shoes. Nope. And I don’t think you need a necklace with that much happening the top.
(*I realize that reference is lost on anyone in their early 30s and younger.)
And… here are more that I just didn’t understand
Meh. I didn’t love this. (I loved Hannah in Hacks.) The liner under the dress looks off, no?
What a sweet gown. I think Saniyya Sidney looked beautiful. Super age-appropriate.
I hated this.
I literally hated this gown on the beautiful Sandra Oh.
It’s foil. It’s aluminium foil.
And EVEN if you say it the Aritish way — Aah-LOU-MIN-EE-um, it’s just… more fitting on Thanksgiving leftovers than the red carpet.
I am absolutely in LOVE with this blush-colored gown on Victoria Tate. So much so, that I just bought a chair for my family room that is EXACTLY this color. (Fact.)
Beautiful draping. Gorgeous.
(My chair is more of a mico-fiber, plush feel. Less silk.)
I don’t know.
I think we all can agree that satin and silk are VERY tricky to wear. The draping on this is perfect, the fit looks to be on.
I don’t love halters. This is a no for me. (Primarly because it woudln’t look anything like this on me since I have no discernible waist.)
This is so Venus Williams and I absolutely love it.
There’s somethign just so lovely and easy and beautiful about this on Piper Perabo. But then again, I’ve been giving my 14-year-old Havanese home hair cuts because she’s been getting a bit nervous about going to the Doggie Salon and Ferg’s bangs look a lot like that cut-off part at Piper’s knees.
Kind of drastic, no?
YOU KNOW I love a print.
But you know what, I don’t love a lace pattern with a foo-foo top.
I’m a no on this.
I think it’s even too much for me, what with the Elmo fur and all.
Marlee Matlin is stunning. I love the tea-length gown. Her hair, shoes, everything — stunning.
Old Hollywood-style lovely. I love emerald green velvet. Beautiful. I adore her hair. (I think it’s because I’m so jealous that mine is so frizzy and hers looks so smooth and grown up.)
I adore this on Kim Joo-ryoung. It’s absolutely stunning and I LOVE the color. The necklace / collar is gorgeous, too. I like that it’s not choking her.
I hate chokers.
And yes, this is like a 20-year-long hate.
Stunning, stunning color. Love this gown.
I know Juno Temple was pumped to wear this, but it’s just ok for me. It’s Atelier Versace and it’s chain mail and it’s a WORK of art. I just don’t love it.
LOVE THIS. Jessica Chastain did it right. Sleek suit. Super-smoky eye. No necklace.
I love this so much. I just kind of wish we could see her shoes.
Jennifer Hudson is stunning. I adore this color, as we know. (Hence the chair in my living room.) But I can’t handle the flowers. It’s just too much. I’m in a “less is more” phase of my life right now.
I love this color combo of the dress and shoes.
And that is all that I love.
(I feel for that train. Is it a train? Is it the other end of the bow? How lonely and wrinkled and sad. Where is her stylist? Someone, HELP HER.)
I think Jean Smart looked absolutely MAGNIFICENT. That color. That amazing collar that did NOT crowd her face. The sleeves. Everything about this is amazing.
On the struggle bus with this one.
On one hand, I love a pattern.
On the less busy hand, I feel like this is too much. I think it’s the flared leg that is killing me.
If I had to vote, I’d say no.
In fact, I might scream it.
Helen Mirren is an international treasure. I love her pink gown. The adornments work for me. However, I would have nixed the headband. I don’t love it.
This is straight out of a TLC video circa 2000 and I am here for it.
LOVE the fierceness.
My Grandma would sometimes pick a color and just RUN with it.
If it was Lavender Day – it meant lavender slacks, blouse, shoes, earrings, necklace and a purple-ish lipstick.
I feel like today we should not match our lips with our gowns.
Only Grandma Helen could do that.
And, here are the men.
The pink suit on Jeremy Strong (Succession) made me smile. Daveed Diggs wins it for me.
Kieran Culkin’s annoyance with the whole thing for the win.
Salma Hayek is wearing a wrinkled and twisted coral pink gown complete with 80’s Pretty in Pink gloves.
THIS is a gorgeous woman and someone DONE. HER. WRONG. This was not the best choice for her. I’m sorry it happened.
I think that Alexandra Daddario in Atelier Versace looked STUNNING. Absolutely gorgeous.
The styling, the gown, the fit, the lips… I didn’t love the shoes. I wish they were strappier.
Next, OMG. I love Elle Fanning’s look. It’s incredible.
I’d like to wear this to the office on Friday.
I don’t watch Belinda Bromilow’s shows, but I DO know that I love that orange bow.
Kerry Washington is wow, wow, wow. I love that color so much. The gown is AMAZING. Yasssss.
But a little TOOOOOO much for the SAG awards, no?
And, my best dressed of the night?
Lady Gaga in Armani Privé… again. I don’t know… I just LOVED this.
It’s so her.
It’s sleek and modern and gorgeous and I just love it all.
Ok, what did YOU think?!