Oscars Red Carpet Fashion Recap 2022

Wow. So that was quite a show. Fashion, intrigue, comedy… unexpected violence…

Let’s start by re-capping the fashion, shall we?

First, Woody Harrelson. It makes me happy to see him. And, it makes me happy to see how the little Oscar man appears to be coming out of his head.

Welcome to my brain.

Shall we start with all of the ladies who wore red?

When I was younger, my Mom was a bridesmaid in a wedding and I honestly feel like this is an exact replica of said formalwear. (This shade of red.) I didn’t love it then… I don’t love it now. (Sorry Molly Simms.)

Kirsten Dunst wore a dress that has literally been worn 300 times before.

I feel like the dress is saying, “I’m sorry. I know. I’ve been here before. I am tired. I am sad. I’m not even poofy. I’d rather be a pillow.”

Marlee Matlin looked GORGEOUS. I love the elegant tailoring of this gown. She had on some fun and fancy red shoes, too. You can’t see them.

I’m just not sure I would have gone that patriotic with the blue necklace. Seems like a lot.

Jennifer Garner looked FLAWLESS in this timeless gown. Perfectly lovely for a presenter. Understated, yet gorgeous. And you’re following her on Insta, right? One of the best IG accounts out there.

I think it should be noted that I love a ruffle.

I just worry that sometimes ruffles look SO big that they could EAT the wear-er.

That rose on her right-shoulder is as big as her head. I feel like this is just too much dress for her.

I cried when Ariana Debose won.

I cried. And I love that she wore pants and a CAPE.

Orange is my favorite color. Aunjanue Ellis looks absolutely STUNNING. I adore this gown. It’s art.

It’s so great…

Maya Rudolph is awesome and I wish she would be my friend.

I want my friends to wear sleeves like that.

I feel like that outfit is everything. For those of us who watched Three’s Company, that’s totally Mrs. Roper.

I love the COLOR on H.E.R., but I’m not a huge fan of the cut. It’s just not flattering.

When I look at it quickly it reminds me of a huge piece of Doublemint gum.

David Oyelowo for the monarch butterfly win. I really do love this. And the bee shoes are an adorable nature nod, as well.

Tiffany Haddish looks amazing. This gown is PERFECTION on her.

Nope.

I just think no.

“Mom! I’m going to the Oscars. This is what I’m wearing…”

[shakes head. Why.]

Yes. Megan Thee Stallion looks so pretty in this icy blue color. I love it. Would I wear it?

Obvi.

I already have this in pink.

Nicole Kidman‘s gown is stunning, but the top neckline is a bit too severe for me. I adore the red lip but I don’t love the rhinestones on the butt-bow-sash-thing.

Still, she’s stunning.

I really liked Amy Schumer’s bow gown. I kinda like navy blue and black* together.

*I used to feel quite strongly that they could NEVER, EVER be worn together… but, I’ve grown.

That is a dangerously high thigh slit. However, I adore how the eye makeup and the dress match.

There’s just a lot happening here.

And I’ve 100% woken up with a top knot like that.

JOY.

I see so much joy.

Someone should have told this sweetie pie to wear tighties with this outfit. Or perhaps they could have properly lined these trousers?

Love. This is a happy dress and Niecy wears the ruffles well.

I am in LOVE with this ever-so-slight blush gown on Jessie Buckley. I love a deep-v and a structured gown.

That hair color?

I had it in 7th grade thanks to a $3 bottle of Sun in From CVS.

PERFECTION.

Anyone wearing a pink dress has my vote.
I EVEN like the choker.
THIS IS PERFECTION.
The hair. The bow.
Absolutely adore this.

I’m laughing.

Imma give this a 2 in terms of style and overall look.

Imma give it a 10 in terms of enthusiasm. That is MANY layers of Oscar commitment right there.

I kind of hate this.

It’s very Victoria’s Secret. Or potentially something your aunts buy you to wear on your honeymoon. Eek.

I’ll be very honest with you, I’m having an internal conflict regarding Lupita Nyong’o’s gown. Do I like it?
I DON’T KNOW!

On one hand, I LOVE the sequins, sparkle and the print.

On the other hand, I think it’s just too mature-looking and not fun.

But then again, who says we have to be fun all the time?

Final thought: I love it.

And I love her whole look.

I don’t like this.

It’s like someone stitched together pantyhose and made a gown out of it.

No.

WAY too many things going on here.

Two different colored gloves.

The bra sticking out.

The severe hair.

The teeny-tiny purse.

Too much, too much, too much.

Love.

I love this.

It’s elegant and I love it. I’m just having trouble with the belt. However, when I ask myself, “Well, Kylee, what kind of belt would YOU suggest?” I’m at a complete loss.

So, I’m just going to say: I like it, but I don’t love the belt.

I SIMPLY DO NOT HAVE ALL OF THE ANSWERS.

Gorgeous. Gorgeous. Gorgeous. Alana Haim looked STUNNING. (I love how simple her hair is.)

I need to know more bout this gown. Is it a top and a skirt?

I think it’s fun and I am enjoying the geometric purse. I *do* kinda think Tati could have left her watch at home though…

STUNNING! The most gorgeous disco ball dress that ever there were. I love it!

Obviously lovely. Beautiful neckline. Venus Williams looked ethereal.

Serena Williams for the win. I love her gloves. And the pink. And the fancy RINGS on the gloves.

Love.

Saniyya Sidney looked precious in her gown. She’s 15 and looked adorable. I love the design.

And now the black dresses. I LOVE this on Rachel Zegler. WOW. That is amazing draping.

I hate the choker, though.

And if I were to cut my hair, I’d cut it like that. But the thing is, it would totally NOT resemble that. It would be frizzy and wavy. So, I’ll keep my hair as it is and she will continue looking amazing.

What is around Penelope Cruz‘s neck? Is that a glitter bow tie?

This is horrible.

Did she ADD that? Like, “My dress needs a glitter bowtie”?” Said no one EVER.

It would appear that Maggie Gyllenhaal is wearing a dress covered in gilded drawer pulls.

Seems heavy.

Laverne Cox is my topknot twin. She looked elegant and lovely.

Jill Scott looked lovely, however, I’m happy to report that the resurgence of Bea Arthur shoulder pads has already ended and they’re no longer cool again. I’m UNhappy to report that no one sent the memo to Jill.

Sad. We done her wrong.

(Her sleeves are very intimidating.)

Cynthia Erivo looked lovely. However, I almost wish she hadn’t worn the zipper up/zipper down jacket.

Sweet Billie. I love you. I love that a bazillion young girls see you, the way you dress, the way you carry yourself and they feel GOOD about who they are. We are a pro-Billie household. We love her, we support her.

Stunning.

GASP. I loved, loved, loved this on Uma Thurman. Perfection. Very Sharon Stone. LOVE.

This is terrible.

Jada Pinkett Smith‘s gown was incredible. By far, the most likable part of her overall…um… “ensemble.”

Ok, here are the dresses that could use the most improvement:

What in the name of all things pirate-y is this? It would appear that an old scrunchy with medical gauze is holding it together in the front. (The back is stunning, though…)

Whatever happens, I hope she finds the black pearl.

There’s always one prom dress go awry.

Here it is.

My worst? My vote goes to whoever dressed Tracee Ellis Ross.

WHY would you put this beautiful woman in THIS GOWN?

First, we’re asking too much of the gown. The dress wire and boning is working overtime.

Secondly, this cut, the box pleats? THIS IS NOT flattering.

I’m just sorry this happened. TRACEE is stunning. This gown is not commensurate with her.

Ok, now my favorites!

I think Kristen Stewart is so cool and I LOVE this look. She’s fun. And cooler than I’ll ever be.

Becky G looks AMAZING in this gown.

Normally women unsuccessfully add adornments to their hips. THIS just works, though.

The color, the detail, the rings, her hair… she looks amazing. LOVE.

Next, Mila Kunis.

This gown is stunning. The color, the fit, I just love it, for some reason.

Jessica Chastain‘s gown was incredible. Vivi commented on the ombre effect. We were ALL blown away. It worked so well with her skin, her hair… stunning.

Normally I’d be offended by the various sea anemones on the bottom of a gown like that, but today, now, it works.