Grief
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| My Mom and my girls - July 2013 |
My Mom died on September 9th, 2013.
I was expecting it.
But then again, I wasn't.
Not like that...
Read about the whole process, starting with the first post, here.
When you lose a parent.
TP Grief
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![When I was a kid, my Mom would sometimes go to the grocery store at night while my baby sister and I were "supposed" to be sleeping. Baby sister slept, I stood by the window and watched for her headlights to turn back into the driveway, my stomach a gnarled mess while I waited.
The entire time she was gone I would create ill-fated stories in my mind that would ultimately leave her injured, kidnapped, or left for dead... I think these stories got worse after my Dad died. "What if I lose my one parent?"
I would stand there and worry.
And she always came back.
In one piece.
Over time, after therapy when I was younger, I realized that worrying doesn't shape anything... worrying doesn't CHANGE the outcome... but, it's real.
Telling someone not to worry is about as effective as telling someone not to cry when they're in the midst of full-sobbing or it's like asking someone WHERE they lost the thing that they lost.
"I can't find my keys."
"Where did you lose them."
[silence]
"Um, if I knew where I lost them, then..."
::
This time that we're living through right now is BIG and heavy and for the love of ALL THINGS HOLY it keeps on going.
I remember watching The Sound of Music when I was a kid and wondering when in the WORLD it would end. We're STUCK in the Sound of Music.
Schools opened, then closed.
Masks on, then off.
Life started, and stopped.
We've missed get-togethers and holidays.
Weddings and births.
We are as disconnected as ever.
Our worrying and concern and fear and anxiety is there... and it's real.
I see you.
I know this time is hard.
I'm not going to tell you to stop feeling the feelings, I just want you to know that I'm feeling them, too. (And therapy is helping.)
Get yourself a therapist.
Talk about all of this.
As I told one of my girls this week, “It’s ok not to be strong all the time.”
With love,
Ky](https://i2.wp.com/kyleebroughton.com/wp-content/plugins/instagram-feed/img/placeholder.png?w=1100&ssl=1)